Thursday, May 17, 2012

Face Only a Mother Could Love

My son is incredibly expressive both verbally and facially. This, I love. He shares these faces with most everyone he come into contact with, though most usually with those who are closest to him, those with whom he feels most comfortable. There is one face, though, that he reserves just for me – his breastfeeding face. You other breastfeeding mamas know the one I’m talking about. It’s a face unlike any other he makes. It’s a face only I can see.

My son’s face changes shape when he smiles, cries, laughs, or makes any other expression he comes up with – and he comes up with more all the time. It is an amazing thing to see. Sometimes his face looks tiny and small, sometimes it rounds out and fills up with teeth and cheeks. Sometimes his eyes look big and round, sometimes they look smooshed and squinty (generally accompanied by the aforementioned teeth and cheeks). Sometimes his mouth is petite with a perfect little Cupid's bow, sometimes his mouth is wide and stretched to the limit.

When he breastfeeds, though, his face takes on a whole new shape. It is at once small and full. His eyes are round and inquisitive and focused and peaceful. He gets these little smile lines around his mouth. It is, in my opinion, his most beautiful of all his beautiful faces. And nobody else has ever seen it but me. Nobody else will ever have my vantage point. Nobody else will ever get to share in our secret looks or in the messages we pass through our eyes. That face is one only I can love, because only I am blessed enough to see it. And oh, how I am blessed.

(My son, 4 months, and me doing a little extra loving during breastfeeding. I can't show you the face - that's just for me.)

15 comments:

  1. My favorite place, while squeezing his chunky little thighs :)

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  2. Oh my gosh,that is beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes.

    I too love that special exhcange that only my children and I will ever know.

    The breastfeeding face- goes right along with the nursing smile. You know, the one with nipple still in mouth and the BIGGEST smile still shining? Ahhh... thanks for sharing this.

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  3. This is sooo true, and one of the reasons BFing is so bonding for us. Thank you for writing this, something so many women can identify with. Beautiful!!

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  4. this makes me miss breastfeeding, and also realize why my husband enjoyed just laying there with us all in a human kind of puppy pile watching our daughter nurse

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    1. It's a beautiful thing, isn't it? <3

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  5. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing a little glimpse - even if we don't get to see it all. :)

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    1. I feel famous! PP commented on my tiny little blog. You're my hero! ;)

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  6. My DS (now 4) still plays with my fingers and fingernails when he's tired. Something that he has been doing since his nursing days. I only nursed him for a little under a year, but it is still his comfort "thing."

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  7. I breasted my son for 3 1/2 years and my daughter for 5 years. My eldest is 26 years old and I still remember the precious little smile and gestures, the way they each latched on,the way each handled my skin differently. My son would rub my skin with his little hand; back and forth like rubbing on a satin blanket. My daughter would squeeze and pinch and I remember having to trim her nails because she liked to pinch and pull. Each child was supremely different. But now, even so many years later, I remember every little smile and gesture; every little milk mouth and sprayed face, every satisfied sleepy face - eyes rolling back and eyelids closing with satiated tummy...breast feeding was probably the most rewarding and womanly thing I have ever done (and will ever do).

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  8. Love this post. So true. A very sacred moment...xx

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