(Bonus points for those who understand the reference in the title.)
God (or, you know, all that is holy), give me the grace to accept with serenity (now!)
the things about my mother-in-law that cannot be changed (most everything...),
Courage to change the things about her
which should be changed (which is most everything, starting with her defensiveness, iciness, and propensity for guilt trips),
and the wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other. (There is no difference. They're the same things. Crap...)
Oh, by the way, could you also add in strength to either keep myself from leaping at her throat
when she nitpicks my husband and calls my son bad for doing whatever it is he has done?
Either that strength or the strength to dig a hole deep enough to hide all traces...
Living one day at a time (2,000 miles away...thanks to you, oh holy one!),
Enjoying one moment at a time (until Sunday when she calls and I have to listen to the most painful conversations in the history of the telephone),
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace (this...this line right here...she's clearly in my life for this reason and I'm looking at a LOT of peace coming my way...soon!),
Taking, as my husband has,
This wack-a-doo woman as he has (though without all the neuroses she's instilled in him),
Not as I would have it (because that would be MUCH different, believe you me),
Trusting that You will make her somehow unfit to fly right before her next visit (you know, not so much that she suffers seriously - though, I don't want to tell you how to do your job - but enough that she just can't make it out, giving us one peaceful, free summer)
If I surrender to the insanity,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life (or at least blissfully unaware of said insanity),
And supremely happy with the others in the special padded rooms.