Saturday, May 12, 2012

So Long, Sex Drive! Wish You Were Here!

I have to be very frank here, I used to be HORNY! I know that's a strong word, but nothing else will suffice in this case. I had no shortage of healthy hormones and sex drive. My married and parent friends used to stare in wonder at me and pat me on the back, for they were sure I would be the exception to their thought that everyone's sex life goes downhill after vows and kids.

Turns out, they were wrong. Horny be gone. Horny be LONG gone.

In reality, it was a short road trip from sex to sexless (or, at least, sex less often). IVF hormones did nothing to help. Pregnancy filled with 5 months of morning (read: all-day) sickness and the next 5 months of bed rest sealed that deal. I have now come to believe my sex drive checked into some seedy roadside motel and has yet to check out and return home. I have now come to believe it is never coming home.



That being the case, I asked my doctor about it. He actually gave me a bit of hope, saying that it would likely return upon cessation of breastfeeding in a few years (yes, he actually said a few years, because he is quite pro-breastfeeding for the normal term of 3-7 years). A postcard had arrived from my sex drive. It is indeed at that motel watching pay-per-view movies, but it wanted to let me know it was thinking of me and missed me. At least I know it's not dead in a gutter somewhere.

I've decided to help the situation in the only way I know how. If I could not breastfeed my son, I would get him a wet nurse. I'm considering doing the same thing (with a slightly different connotation) for my husband...

13 comments:

  1. I would not get my husband someone in this situation. I would have to find a way to increase my sex drive or fight through it. He always knows how to make it come back. :)

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  2. I am in the same boat. Absolutely NO sex drive. I think I 'give in' to my partners advances just enough to keep him from dying (as it seems to feel like to him) but I'm not happy about it either. It's all I can do to muster up the desire to walk into the living room, starting undressing and say "make it quick. it's been a long day" Maybe I'll put an ad on Craigslist 'missed connections' and see if I can find it... my sex drive. Miss you!

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  3. Still going fairly strong here, but then again I had to overcome some obstacles to have a really satisfying sex life, so I'm very adamant in holding on to it. It helps me too now that I sell Pure Romance- I know lots of tricks to recommend for adapting to various situations. Often just going for it whether you feel in the mood or not helps. Besides it's a great stress reliever for all the new challenges of parenthood. We have a saying here "hey it's NAPTIME..." ;)

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  4. I stopped breastfeeding my son about a year ago... went through some crazy hormones there- even though we nursed for more than two years and weaned slowly with no real pushing... BUT my sex drive still has yet to appear. I'm hoping I'll find it soon :-)

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  5. I can so relate to this, but in a weird way. I am a bisexual woman who married a man with absolutely NO sex drive. For a long number of years, I've been frustrated. Sometimes angry. Sometimes sad, wondering what is wrong with me, and my body, and my sexiness. Wondering if he's at least a little gay, because I know the feeling well. He is not open to me finding another sexual partner, man or woman (or both, hey-oh!) I wish I could find his sex drive. What's that Green Day lyric? Oh right. "When masturbation's lost its fun..." ~Hailey

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  6. I have found the same thing. I think it's the lack of excitement that constant house-whoring can bring, alongside being completely touched-out from the babes...not to mention that dating means everything is new and fun and exciting, even a bit naughty. I fed my daughter for the last time the other day at 2.5 years. It was really sad, we both cried and held each other for the longest time, but after 5 consecutive years of breastfeeding (my kids overlapped), I was exhausted, and beyond touched out. I can't say that my sex drive has sky-rocketed, but it has dramatically improved. Honestly, it has a lot to do with energy. While breastfeeding, I discovered a wonder drug. WILD for women. It's basically ginsing and other energy boosters. I think we're just exhausted all the time! But I would ABSOLUTELY recommend it, it's pretty natural and gave me so much energy and even a fair bit more horny too. Very handy!

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