I don't know why Time Magazine didn't ask ME to pose for their cover. With this one shot, I could've shown the world EXACTLY what it's like to breastfeed a toddler:
Here I am, trying desperately to go potty (while trying to catch up on the Zen Parenting Facebook page I've been neglecting...yes, that's right, in case the picture wasn't too much information in and of itself, I was also Facebooking some of you from ye olde pot...don't judge...) on the heels of an obstructed bowel when my son walks in, lifts my shirt (both sides, because both boobs MUST be available at ALL times), and latches on. To top if off, my mother, who so wonderfully dropped everything to drive 4 1/2 hours to be with my son while I thought I was dying, declares, "This would be a perfect picture to post on your page!" And because I was near-death, completely vulnerable, and unable to do anything other than weakly mutter, "Cheese," I ended up with this lovely photographic memory. I bet you never thought you'd see your friendly neighborhood parenting blogger in this position. Well, there's a first time for everything...
Did I have to share this less-than-attractive moment? Nope. Is it absolutely truthful to my life? Yep. And that's why it's here. This is my life in all its splendor.
And now it's forever impressed upon your memory as well. You're welcome.