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Thursday, September 6, 2012

My Post-Show Ponderings

I finished watching the show about an hour and a half ago. Before it was over, my son was ready for bed, so we cut out early. I've been here in bed thinking ever since.

Here are some of my thoughts in a kind of stream-of-consciousness type rambling:

- How poorly must I have done that the only thing the majority of people had to say was about how I looked?

- Phew, I'm glad everyone thought I looked OK! (Contradictory? Yes. True? Yes.)

- I loathe the sound of my own voice.

- I'm a little irked that they cut the shot of my son. He was the best part!

- Our interview was two full segments and about 20 minutes long. Our aired spot was about a quarter of that. What the heck, man?

- They either edited so much, because:
a) we weren't extreme or weird enough like they thought we would be (They cut the part out where Steve repeated on camera what he said to us during the break, which was that he thought we were going to be weird, but we turned out to be really cool people.), or
b) we weren't interesting enough.

- I cannot control what others do, folks. Just like here on the blog and the FB page, I just provide the information. What others do with said information is up to them. Editors chose to edit the information. That's OK. Maybe it didn't reach you all the way you wanted it to, maybe it offended and bugged you, but maybe I reached a person in the audience. And maybe that's a positive that can be seen rather than focusing on the negatives.

- I didn't go in with high expectations of changing the world. I feel like a lot of pressure was put on me to do just that by my own community given some of the comments of disappointment.

- Dr. Lisa was a turd-burglar. Someone commented that I looked like I was agreeing with her. I was to some degree. What she said about cosleeping was correct. If done incorrectly, it can cause problems. If done correctly, as we do and as was shown, things are fine. Her breastfeeding information and opinions, however, were asinine and I essentially said so, but my response to her was cut.

- Based on some comments, some people in our community clearly went into this viewing with chips on their shoulders. I see no point to this. Raising your defenses preemptively does nothing but cause you to see things that need to be defended. If you go in looking for negatives, you'll see them. If you go in looking for positives, you'll see them, too. Funny how that works out...

- Of course, he joked. Of course, he asked mainstream questions. Why does that bother so many people? He's a comedian and he's mainstream on a mainstream show on mainstream network TV. There was nothing wrong with him asking questions. I answered them and I answered them well. He gets to ask questions. So does anybody who wants to know. How will they know and learn and grow if they don't ever ask or if we attack them or judge them for asking? They're the questions the whole world outside of our circles want to ask. I'm glad he asked. I don't know what else would've been expected.

- Yes, the show was billed as "extreme" parenting. I don't see that as such a big deal. We all know that to the vast majority of America, we are extreme. Does that mean it's true? No. Is that their reality? Yes. It's OK. That's why we educate rather than just get mad, stomp our feet, and walk away huffy.

- No, we didn't get a whole show just for us and our method of parenting. What we got was an opportunity, a glimpse. It won't change everything. That's OK. I never meant to. But maybe, just maybe, it'll change a little bit for a few and that's something. That's a big something. Maybe someone who is pregnant will drop by the blog or the page and decide to stick around a while. I like to think of the big picture. And who knows what other opportunities and glimpses are on the horizon?

- To demonstrate just how heavily edited things are on the show: we were actually the first guests. We were there for two segments. Then baby-led weaning came up. After that was the Poi and the dating. What you see isn't always how it went. Keep that in mind.

- A couple of things that were left on the cutting room floor: Steve's inevitable question about where we have sex if we cosleep and my response of "anywhere we want," which garnered a high-five from him; my answer to Steve's worry that he would roll over on and squish a cosleeping child; my explanation of the benefits of normal-term breastfeeding and cosleeping; much of what my husband had to say about both topics; my full response to how self-weaning takes place; and ever-so-much more. Like I said, we had two full segments in reality. There's only so much time and we just weren't weird or "extreme" enough to warrant too much more time than we had.

- I am so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I got from the majority of those in our community. Thank you for your kind and wonderful words of love and support. You make my heart full.

Here's the bottom line. I'm pleased. Am I over-the-moon thrilled? No. Am I satisfied? Yes. Normally I don't subscribe to this philosophy, but every once in a great while good enough really is.


  1. I was also surprised to see a lot of that fun stuff get cut out! I thought it was GREAT..and funny...and smart! I am just surprised that we weren't interesting.

    And I also thought the same thing about the looks thing. Either I sounded awful...or I really must look bad on a daily basis...or those makeup/hair people did an AMAZING job!

    Still working on my response. Still thinking about it all.

    VERY WELL WRITTEN post!!!!

    1. Looking forward to reading what you write, Tori.

  2. I wish I'd seen it! Proud of you for putting yourself out there and showing the world how lovely and educated you are. Sounds like you were just being yourself - and that's all that anyone can ask of you :-)

    1. If ever I find a link to it, I'll share for sure. Thanks, FBS!

  3. Definitely share it, if you can!

  4. Rock on Mama! I don't think people realize that doing this kind of stuff isn't easy, it isn't fun, and we are all aware it is a huge risk. We just make the most educated decision when we do decide to use media to spread the truth, and hope the places we have selected do a decent job. It sounds like with Steve that is what happened. It was decent. I am so proud of all the women in this community standing up! This is a fight that needs to be fought and mainstream media is sometimes necessary! It is the scariest and ugliest ways, but when done right packs the most punch! You are a warrior!!!!

    1. This means a ton coming from you, Jamie. Thank you!

    2. Thanks! Ignore my grammatical insensitivities in that last comment (I'm blaming Siri, she has it out for me...)- Rallying the troops via internet looses a little luster with typos. So, pretend they just aren't there. ;-)

      Are there clips of the show? I'd love to see it.

    3. I haven't found any yet, but I'm hoping someone out there will send me a clip soon. Did you mean to write "shitter?" Ha!