Thursday, August 8, 2013

Farewell, Facebook

I am very often accused of being cold and harsh, because I am direct, decisive, and no-nonsense. Let's be clear: these are not the same things. I have my sensitivities. I have my vulnerabilities. And I bet they're similar to some of yours.

Kids. Kids are my soft spot. My kid is my gooiest spot.

Why I'm leaving:
In case you somehow missed it, a flight attendant for American Airlines recently harassed a breastfeeding mother and babe on their flight, because she hadn't covered. Instead of apologizing and correcting the issue, AA sent a letter of non-apology to the mother, stating they support breastfeeding BUT (oh, that infamous "but" negating the professed support) doing so uncovered makes others uncomfortable and they're more important here.

Obviously, this left a great many of us perturbed. A nurse-in was scheduled. Letters, FB comments, and email abounded. Several of us left pictures of ourselves breastfeeding on the AA Facebook page. I had pictures of myself breastfeeding my son on the planes to and from Chicago when we filmed our TV segment last year. I posted them. I never could've foreseen what happened from there.

Almost immediately, I started receiving an onslaught of "you're disgusting," "you're a child molester," "you're a pedophile," "you're lazy for breastfeeding," "you're an attention whore," etc. along with a slew of comments about my body, because, if we've learned nothing else from our time together on Zen Parenting, we've learned that body shaming is rampant and a favorite go-to of those attempting to hurt. I ignored the better part of them and found the rest amusing, because, being in the public eye, even in small part, I've heard them all (as have far too many other women and breastfeeding mothers). They didn't get to me.

Then my attackers turned their attention to my son. That's when the whole game changed. It started with calling my son ugly (over and over), progressed to saying that "ginger babies" (P.S. I know exactly TWO redheads who do not absolutely ABHOR being called "ginger," but we don't often say that to people, because we're told to "lighten up"...sound familiar?) are soul-suckers (over and over), and then came the worst - the "If I knew I were going to have a heinous kid like him, I'd be all for late-term abortion," "He makes me want to invent a sonogram that will detect ginger traits just so I could abort one" and more and more and more of the same (over and over and over). Then, when that wasn't enough, they went further and created a page for the sole purpose of continuing the hate only in an even more public forum. They stole one of the two photos I posted on AA's page and created a nasty meme out of it. They did the same to so many others.

Facebook was getting hundreds of reports on all of this. They did nothing. They've since deleted SOME of it, but not all and, you know, it's too little, too late. American Airlines was on their FB page as this was all going on. They were happily ignoring the bullying going on right in front of them as they went on to post about banal things and answer questions about lost baggage. How many times do these two companies have to show their true colors when it comes to women and breastfeeding?

THAT, my friends, is why I'm leaving FB. THAT, my friends, is why I will forever boycott AA. Everyone has their limits. Looking cross-eyed at my son is mine. Allowing those things to go on while standing by idly is another.

Who is complicit in prompting this drastic move:
the attackers, first and foremost
American Airlines
Facebook
the victim-blamers, lighten-uppers, you owe it to us to stay here-ers, if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitcheners, you're an asshole but nobody deserves what you gotters, all who dismissed my feelings and advised me to do the same, and those with the compassion and empathy of turds

They all came together to create a perfect storm in the eye of which I will not sit back to allow the second wave to come crashing over me. No. Never again. Not if I can help it (and I can).


Where I can be found (click each to be directed):

Pinterest

Twitter

Google+


my blog (Good news, you're already here and I've decided this isn't going anywhere. It's too much time, energy, blood, sweat, tears, and love here to shut it down. See the right hand column - you have to be on a computer, not mobile - to subscribe to posts, so you never miss anything.)

and, if you're so inclined, I do have one other FB page that is totally unrelated to anything Zen Parenting, but is still me-ish - What Did I Just Walk In On?

Finally, I was waiting to announce this and I am still keeping the details to myself, but I am in the process of writing a book. Keep an eye out for it! Of course, I'll keep you updated via all avenues above.

128 comments:

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    2. This is the first time I have seen your page & I am soo sorry. I love it that your straight up & don't beat around the bush. What amazes me is the fact that society is disgusted by breastfeeding yet carls jr. can have an ad on t.v. where a young woman is half naked rubbing her body on a car she is washing, really? And I am writing this as a mom who chose not to breastfeed but find nothing offensive about it. Turn on our televisions & there are thousands of sexual offensive things on t.v. People may say you have a choice not to watch a certain show, yes I do but the trashy commercial still comes on while I am watching my show. May God bless you - good luck with the next chapter of your life!

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    3. I just don't get it...why other people don't get it. I wasn't able to breast feed my children because I had a breast reduction before I started having children, but I sure wish I could have. But why can't people just look around and see life around them...that no other animal on the entire planet "covers up" to feed it's offspring. Those people making nasty comments, probably smile when they see puppies or kittens feeding from their mom, it is completely natural. When did it become so unnatural for human mother's to do the same? I just don't get it....

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  2. So sad to see you go, just cuz I love your posts. However, I fully support your decision to leave. I can't believe how cruel and disgusting people can be. I mean, I know what the human race is capable of on the negative, but geez, really? A baby? And no one capable of stopping it did anything? I say good for you! AND, for the record, I love me some gingers! They're too cute and I loved the pic you posted of you guys passed out nursing. I thought it was adorable. I'll definitely be following your blog. Thanks for sharing why you're leaving.

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  3. I wish I could jump through my computer to defend your right to breastfeed. I have so many freedoms regarding nursing in Canada that I forget that Americans are still living in the dark ages where boobs are only for sexual purposes and children who need parenting past a certain age lose out to social pressure. I wish you could come North and nurse next to me in any public place, with or without covering up (I never cover up). Does your country not also have the Right To Life for every citizen? It is the first right on our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. If anyone denies your child the right to life, they are committing a crime. Since you are the child's food source, your nursing him whenever and wherever should be protected by every other human nearby because your milk gives life. I am extremely saddened by the lack of regard for your son and your chosen parenting/feeding method. This disrespect and public sexual harassment makes me mad.

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    2. I am sorry to hijack this thread, but as a proud nursing mother who HATES the stigma in our country this comment really got my attention. Is Canada really much more "for" nursing? Is there really none of this ignorance and perversion about this there? Because if thats true, well That is amazing!! :) Makes me wanna sing the Canadian anthem right now lol :)

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  4. Wow. I'm literally sitting here at my computer with my jaw open. I cannot believe that people would react in such a way. It disgusts me and deeply saddens me that they feel it is ok to say such horrible things to you and about your son. I'm still proudly breastfeeding my soon-to-be 18 month old and I have never come across any harsh words or problems. The people who said these things have problems. I'm still in disbelief of what they did. SMH.

    Good for you for standing up in what you believe in and putting your foot down when something happens that is not ok with you. We teach people how to treat us and by leaving FB and boycotting AA you are teaching them. You are a wonderful parent, your son is a wonderful boy, and I wish you guys lots of happiness!! XOXO

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  5. Disgusted at what people have said to you about yourself and your BEAUTIFUL son just because you advocate for breastfeeding (and still continue to nurse). People are nasty and I completely understand why you are leaving. I do not blame you one bit. I have been wanting to leave as well but all my friends seem to only use facebook... :/ But I will be following you on your other pages and as a fellow writer (with no time lol) I will be watching for your book! Your page has helped me so much! Glad you are not leaving completely!! <3 I <3 you Zen Mama! Keep On Doing What You Feel is ZEN for YOU and YOUR FAMILY! <3

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  6. Please know despite the haters, there are many, MANY more supporters! This was heart-wrenching to read. I appreciate your strength and unyielding integrity, much respect. Stay strong sister!

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  7. Oh my goodness. I am so sorry that you were subjected to this. Obviously, obviously it is completely ridiculous and obviously these people have their own problems and issues. I can see how upsetting it was for you. Your son is awesome :) Far more people think that than otherwise.

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  9. I have not ever heard of your page just saw the fact that you are leaving and it got my interest. Reading your post made me sick and sad. In the only girl in my family that doesn't have red hair, my best friend is a red head and then I turned around and married one. Go figure. I don't get the issue that people have with breast feeding. But with that said even if it makes someone uncomfortable where do the insults come in? People need to grow up and have class! It's horrible. Its one thing to attack you but anyone should that our children are of limits. The ginger comments seem racist and really had my blood boiling!
    Keep strong Momma!

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  10. I am so sad to read this. You are an inspiration to me and I have found you nothing but helpful and a breath of fresh air. I am so sorry you were treated this way.

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  11. So sorry to hear of the harsh comments directed at you and your beautiful child, and natural way of life. It just does all the more to confirm my own parenting choices. which are peaceful, natural, family-oriented home-education. It sickens me, and I can NOT believe in 2013 that grown adults (largely self-confessed "christians" besides) make a choice to act in such a way. I seriously can not believe it and without going all conspiracy-theorist on ya i will say this...fluoride, medicating kids at 7 because they tap their toes in school, the public school system, the food, health, and educational system are all directly contributing to not only the dumbing down, but the desensitizing of our people. Will look forward to following you via blog posts and pinterest boards. Bought a new house actually just today, and are discussing the "get off the grid, starting with facebook and google" as we pack. Way to show some conviction.

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  12. This makes me want to cry. How dare they??!!!!!!! Mob mentality, bullying that feeds on the anonymity of Facebook..... It's absolutely disgusting. You and your son are nothing but beautiful and I will sorely miss your posts on Facebook. I know beyond a doubt that you have helped to positively influence so many.... I will definitely follow your blog!!

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  13. I somehow missed all those haters comments, but I'm shocked! anyway, you're great and I love ginger kids, I wanted my to be ginger :D he's not quite ginger, but got some red strikes in his hair. close enough :P
    I'll miss seeing your posts in my news feed.
    and looking forward to your book!
    all the best x

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  14. I saw this happen on FB and was one of the many who reported it that got told they weren't going to do anything about it. I was disgusted! I am truly horrified by what you were subjected to and deeply sorry that such despicable people even exist. I will be following you on here from now on and look forward to reading your book when it is published. Many thanks for your contributions on FB, that is how I discovered you and became a fan x

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  15. Stay strong and keep educating people. One day the scale will tip to our side and we will be majority. These violence will be stopped because most (if not all) babies will be breastfed and respected.
    PS: you and your baby are SOOO gorgeous!!!

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  16. I completely understand your reasons for leaving Facebook, and can't even say I blame you, however, keep in mind that if every advocate (whether it be for breastfeeding or any other worthy cause) leaves Facebook because of their disgusting practice of allowing such bullying, who will be around to normalize breastfeeding and whatnot to everyone? Especially as new teens join every day. They need to be surrounded by Zen people like yourself. Otherwise we'll just have a whole 'nother generation of haters. I know that if my son had a Facebook account (he's old enough, but chooses not to), I'd hope he'd be exposed to pages like yours more than pages like American Airlines. I'm not trying to make you feel bad by any means. If I were in your shoes, I can't say I wouldn't be doing the same. But it is something to consider, although you probably already have.

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    1. Protect my son or stick around on FB...not a tough call. I'll choose the former every single time. Further, FB is not the only way one can help normalize breastfeeding. It's not like I'm leaving the planet or even the blogosphere and social media. FB is just FB. It's not the be all, end all.

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  17. I'm so so so sorry this happened to you. I have been called a disgusting and creepy mom because I breastfeed my beautiful red headed boy. I can empathize with you. I know being beaten down for feeding and comforting your child is a horrible feeling. I have no advice, but I do have virtual hugs for you!

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  18. Let me start with the positives.
    (1) No one should be shamed because of their body, thin, not thin, red-head, or any other body type.
    (2) Public breastfeeding should not be restricted, nor should it be censored in any way.
    (3) American Airlines was wrong to harass the woman, and should never have sent a letter to the affected customer.

    Now lets take a non-objective view to your post.
    (1) Flooding a Facebook page with photos and stirring the pot is a very confrontational way to handle the problem. I think its ironic that when you preach that others should just "let it go" and allow public breastfeeding, that when your rights are challenged, in this case by AA, your response is to confront the problem by flooding the page of the company who wronged the breast-feeder instead of just "letting it go." I have always maintained that everyone should just ignore breast-feeders, and they should ignore those who say its wrong, because neither party are really affected by the other.
    (2) Flooding the page with photos and then expecting Facebook to police the onslaught is silly. Then boycotting Facebook for not policing your publicity stunt and the comments you knew it would receive? That just seems extreme. If one photo was posted and it had 100 offensive comments, that photo would be removed immediately. If 100 photos are posted and the photos all had randomly offensive comments, it becomes a much harder problem.

    Who is at fault here? American Airlines. It is your choice to boycott them, and I support that decision as they were trying to restrict someones right to breastfeed. One question you have to ask yourself though is, would the same thing have happened on United or Delta? If so, why aren't we doing two things and lobbying to get legislation passed officially allowing breastfeeding. Then you could just get everyone to vote with their dollars and avoid American Airlines because this story was shared.

    I think far too often people are faced with a bad situation where they were wronged like in this case, but then respond in kind with actions that are driven by emotion, and that just pays the problem forward by wronging someone else. Facebook is a fairly innocent casualty here. I think everyone is quick to jump on the "You are so right" or the "you are so stupid" bandwagon that they forget to consider the middle ground, which I felt needed to be pointed out here.

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    1. Darn that Rosa Parks. Stirring the pot. I mean, some ppl...

      PS: FB regularly harasses not just breast feeding moms, but natural child birth moms and women who have survived breast cancer, removing their posts, their pictures, and even their sites. FB is the furthest from innocent re: breast feeding harassment.

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    2. But do you think they are specifically removing just those posts and specifically leaving others? Or just not removing as many as they should because of the sheer quantity of posts? Facebook is not innocent...but if anyone should have been removing those posts it should be the publicly traded and customer driven business that is American Airlines.

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    3. It doesn't happen on Southwest.
      Yes. Those types of women and photos are targeted while women in thongs with assault rifles are fine. Almost show a nipple in a bikini? A-ok. Show a sliver of cleavage while feeding an infant? Banned.

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    4. Eric, you don't have to like, understand, agree with, or do the same as what I have done. This is what I have done after much deep thought and soul searching. And you've forgotten the biggest transgression which is what happened to my son by the attackers, AA, and FB. And yes, FB is as complicit as everyone else.

      Further, your victim-blaming is absolutely unwelcome here.

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    5. Saying victim-blaming is just a way to rally the troops to your cause...but what you have forgotten is that I started my post by agreeing that the victims themselves were wronged. How, in any way, am I blaming them? In fact I supported the decisions you have made to boycott the company who has made the errors, and even suggested another avenue to lobby for. You can continue to spin your tale of "us versus them" and then throw me on the wrong side of the fight to make your cause seem stronger, but we are not on different sides. In fact we are very much on the same side, and that is the side of those who are being wronged by...anyone. I very much did not forget the transgression with your son, and that situation falls under the very first line item in my post, that NO ONE should be attacked for any reason. The reason I did not address it in my post, is because I take no issue with anything you have done to react to that situation. Like I stated in my post above, it simply seems ironic that you all preach freedom of speech and the right to breastfeed in public (which I also support) and then at the exact same time preach to take that same right away from someone who is expressing their right (although misguided) to practice free speech. Unfortunately in this ultra-connected age we live in, we can't pick and choose when we get to have our freedoms awarded to us, and for that reason, I support public breastfeeding the same as you.

      To address some of the other comments here about Facebook censoring other photos of breastfeeding and allowing semi-nudes of bikini clad women...admittedly I have not done my research on that issue, and had not heard that claim...if true, that is an equally offensive abuse of the system.

      I do not wish to downplay the pain of the victims, or imply that they brought it on themselves, instead to put some perspective on your fight. I know I will not change your mind, so this is the end of the conversation, but I will not stand by and let you bully me by grouping me in with the victim-blamers as if our statements are even remotely similar. (They are not)

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    6. Ugh, Eric. Wake up, dude! You're missing the point here. Regardless of what the response was to American Airlines after the "non-apology letter", NO CHILD should be the victim of disgusting and hurtful words like that. Ever. For any reason. It was extremely cruel and completely unnecessary.
      What I hear you saying is that this situation against ZP's son was provoked and this is NOT the right place to stir that pot.

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    7. Eric is right. If you're going to stick your neck out there, expect to get punched. If you can't take that, don't do it.

      So, I'm sorry, ZP, I call you a FAILURE for throwing in the towel. Your page inspired so many people; it COUNTED. And in a time when people are feeling that violent revolution may be inevitable, to say that you can't handle a few whiny Facebook users is WEAK. Toughen up, we've got a long battle ahead, and we can't win without you.

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    8. People are acting badly to silence you. And it worked.

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    9. Then color me weak. I'll protect my son at any costs and if that's weak, then I'm happy to be so. As ever, your support and compassion are unbelievably heartwarming.

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  19. I'm horrified for you, completely unacceptable bullying behaviour. There has been something similar in the UK news recently over misogynistic comments and disgusting threats on twitter. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I completely understand your decision to quit facebook over this. If I ever get the chance to boycott AA I'll do so (not so easy from the UK!)

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  20. I'm so sorry you've experienced the very worst of people. Reading those vicious comments directed toward you and your beautiful child (BTW I also have a redhead and I LOVE the red hair!!!) and the complete LACK of appropriate response by every corporate entity involved leaves me in despair for the human race. Utter despair. What is WRONG with people?!? I have no words. My brain just will not come up with any more words. :(

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  21. That is just disgusting and immature, I cannot believe you have been treated like this! I will no longer fly AA and I am writing a letter letting them know. My family and I use AA all of the time to fly around the country. This is so disappointing in the year 2013! Screw AA and FB! ARGH, I am so angry. Your advice through FB has made me okay with BF in public, I thank you for that. When I had my 3 year old I used to feel like I had to feed her in a restaurant bathroom, YOU made it clear that nobody should have to eat in a bathroom. My new arrival with be joining us in March and I am going to BF wherever and whenever the baby is hungry. THANK YOU FOR CHANGING MY CHILDS WORLD FOR THE BETTER.

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  22. People can be such assholes. It's a huge problem in society. It's so easy to be kind. I will never fly AA again, and I will absolutely make sure that no one in my family ever does again either. Gone are the days when I was almost three and on my Mom's hip in the department store helping myself to her breast while she shopped because I was hungry. You and your dedication to being Zen has helped myself and my friends through a lot. My son is a little bit more amazing because of you. I am so sad that your departure is forced. The world needs more people like you! <3

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  23. So sorry to hear of what you have been though, people disgust me sometimes. I can even thing of anyone I know that would even say those kinds of thing about anybody. It's just so disturbing that there are people like that out there. So sorry, and keep up the good work.

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  24. I am so sorry for what you were subjected to! What you do and what you write about is so very important. I don't know you personally, but wanted to let you know I support you wholeheartedly.

    Lyuba Titova (on FB), a Mom with over 5.5 years of bf experience.

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  25. Honey, I am sorry I haven't been on much to see what has been happening. I am SOO sorry for your pain. Please know how much you are loved and supported. Hugs!
    Sis

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  26. So sorry you had to go through this... so sorry anyone has to go through anything like this. It is awful. So sad - all of it but especially ANYTHING about a child. I agree with you that is (or should be) completely off-limits.

    Huge hugs.

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  27. What in the hell is wrong with people?! This kind of hate reminds me of some of the people on my birth board on Babycenter. There are a lot of kind, supportive people on there but others that just take the cake with their hate. It's so unnecessary. I cannot believe AA. FB I get, but I can't believe AA sat idly by.

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  28. How horrible that you have gone through this! I completely understand your decision to leave. I will miss your posts, but I'll follow your blog. Please know that you are doing good things and people like you give hope to the rest of us beat feeding mothers, crunchy mothers, mothers going against the mainstream. Love and light to all of you. <3

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  29. oh my....I feel sick to read this. I knew about the original, trigger incidents, but somehow I hadn't encountered the backlash yet. I don't "get" the violent reactions, and I don't "get" how people don't see the reactions as violent. How much words can hurt. And while I'm certainly not surprised, it is still so disappointing that these corporations won't speak up.

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    1. Oh ya, I'm with you on the sickness. I've been there for days... Thank you so much for your support.

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  30. Isn't it amazing how hateful people can be when they are unfamiliar or uncomfortable with something? It’ so sad to me that people can be that way, especially to a mother and a baby for doing something God created a mother to do! I’m sorry you and your family had to be the target of such hateful nonsense.

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  31. I am still sitting mouth agape over reading the horribleness that was hurled at you. And bringing your child into it is beyond unacceptable. I'm sorry mama that this happened and applaud your decision to do what's best to protect you and your family.

    The interwebs -while wonderful most times and a great tool to help create community, understanding, and share our experiences- they can be very ugly. You have seen the ugliest of the ugly and its time to back away and surround yourself with beauty.

    Thank you for all you've done thus far and I look forward to following your blog. love and light.

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  32. simple fact is their mamas fed them formula and you can clearly see that formula feeding affects intellectual development, limbic system development (e.g. appropriate self-regulation and emotion) and highly impacts them via an hormonal imbalance likely too high of a level of testosterone. In short they are the by-product of chemical formula suckled through BPA-infused plastic and as such there is no hope. Our breast fed healthy children will eventually resolve the issue by intellectual superiority and rational problem solving. It may take a while but she who breast feeds will get the last laugh. I'm w you Zen.

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    1. Dear Anonymous, you claim that you dislike spouting hate and support Zen, but then you turn around and bash children who are bottle fed. You became the very thing that you claim was so horrible. Bashing children, and assuming that all bottle fed children are going to turn out like these pig of people who insulted her and her son. I was unable to breast feed my children but I FULLY support any mother who does, and they all have the right to do so any place without fear of someone saying something to them. However that does not give you the right to decide that parents who don't BF are raising horrible children.

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  33. I am horrified at all of this. I saw the original letter to the bf mom and it made me very angry, but this is just...I don't even have words for it. It makes me not even want to live on this planet anymore. I am so sorry all the pain this has caused you. It seriously fuels my fire and makes me want to stand up and do something.

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    1. Don't let that fire die, Christie! Stand up!

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  34. Love to you sister!!! I found you from this issue going on and I'm here to stay!

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    1. Well, then something good came of all this negativity. Thank you!

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  35. I write this as I breastfeed and lie in bed next to my beautiful red headed husband... I am so sad for.you and your gorgeous child that there are people in the world pathetic and disgusting enough to make these comments. I am sad to see your page go. I live in New Zealand. So far in the 4 short weeks since my baby was born I have fed at cafes, department stores, electronics shops, McDonald's, the library, dance lessons for my older child, walking down the street and the post office. No one has even blinked an eye. Especially in light of recent issues like this I feel very lucky to live in a place where it is so accepted. I pray that with enough people like you standing up for the right to breast feed, that change in thinking will happen.

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  36. How can we preach about bullying, look down on it, and start huge campaigns against it, if our adults turn around and bully/cyber bully right in front of the youth. This is atrocious! We can't expect children to be nice if we can't model nice ourselves.

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    1. Indeed. Model the behavior we want. If we model bullying, that's what we'll get in return...

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  37. -You are awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome.
    -I love red hair. I've always wanted red hair. I was hoping for red-headed babies.
    -Red-headed babies (or any others, for that matter) feed on your soul? WOOHOO! That's awesome. You? Have a beautiful soul and your child could hope for no better nourishment. The only people who'd have to worry about that being a problem are mean people with ugly, dried up shriveled souls. People like you have healthy, flourishing, ever-regenerating wellsprings of beauty that can give and give without being diminished.

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  38. Sorry the haters got you down. You won't see me on AA again, that's for sure.

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  39. I am so aghast, reading about what people have gone out of their way to say to you....you are an amazing, beautiful soul who has inspired MANY. Please don't forget that what these people have said to you has really nothing to do with you, but with the void they feel within themselves. WE LOVE YOU, Zen Mama!! And my family and I will not be on AA again, either!! Much love to you...

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  40. Your son is beautiful, and you are giving him a beautiful start in life. I'm so sorry you've had to experience the ugliness of some humans who have no life (and possibly no soul). I would close my page too; stealing pictures of my kids is way beyond harassment, it's criminal. I wish you the best. Put some lavender oil on your pillow; works for me. :)

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  41. Have you seen this? :)

    http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/08/09/we-must-stop-these-crazed-half-naked-psychopaths-from-feeding-their-children-in-front-of-other-people/

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  42. I have seen some nasty stuff revolving around this AA thing. I've seen someone's pic of their son with a serious head injury be taken with the words "breastfeeding causes you to be a retard" under it. So sad. I'm so sorry the idiots attacked you.

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    1. Yep. That was the same person who attacked my son and made the meme. Classy, eh?

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  43. I cant believe how rude and immature and downright disgusting some people are. People like those bashing you make me sick. I breastfeed covered right now because my ginger husband prefers it but it wont be an option much longer because my beautiful ginger daughter is getting to the point where she tries to pull it off. attacking a mother feeding her child is beyond wrong and so is attacking her child no matter their hair, skin, eye color or whatever. when I got pregnant I wished so hard my daughter would be a ginger and I got my wish. I personally prefer gingers not because I don't think other children aren't beautiful (all children are beautiful in their own way) but because I think gingers are just wonderful. so many different shades of red and I have not once met a ginger that "suck out souls" I hope you feel better soon. Just by reading all these other posts I can tell you are very loved and so is your son. good luck mama

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  44. I'm sorry you are going through this mama. Your son is beautiful and he has a wonderful mama who is feeding him the best he can get. The world will always try to drag you down. I hope you can keep positive and not let it get to you. I'm glad there are people out there like you that have helped me overcome my fear of breastfeeding in public.

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  45. I just found this link from another blog and I just want to add to the chorus that you and your boy are beautiful. His red hair is adorable and the way the sun is shining on it in this picture is awesome. Your post brought tears to my eyes b/c I can't believe how mean people can be. Obviously these people are lost. Thank you for standing up for breastfeeding mothers everywhere.

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  46. I am so sorry this happened to you! Your son is beautiful and you are perfect for him! This broke my heart to read. People are so mean!! Why??? I can't believe the things that were said to you. You have given your son the very best and the greatest start he could ever ask for! Keep on keeping on Mamma!! Best wishes your way!!

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    1. I wish I could answer all of that. I think we'd be very rich women if we could figure that out. Thank you so much for your support.

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  47. I literally just had a couple tears reading this. I can not believe people. How disgusting, soul-less and pathetic are people that attack children. Your child is beautiful. You are beautiful. Thank you for sticking up for the rights of mothers everywhere. I am so sad that your child was brought into it though.

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    1. Yesterday was the first day of no tears. It was a nice start to a new era. Thank you so much for your support, Eryn.

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  48. Wow! I simply can not believe the complete BS that has been spewed toward you, your son and red haired children/people in general! My daughter is 10 years old - she has BEAUTIFUL RED HAIR, pale skin and freckles - I LOVE red-haired children! You child is beautiful and shame on anyone who says differently! People can sicken you to your core sometimes! I'm so sorry!

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    1. Ya, it was pretty surprising to me, too. Thank you so much for your support.

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  49. Breastfeeding is by far a lazy thing. If anything I look at mother's who bottle feed and think they are the lazy ones. They don't even need to feed their child, someone else can do it for them. That's laziness. I am sorry to see you go, but I understand. It seems facebook is weeding out all the good people to make room for more negativity. I was friends with an anti-vaccine page and she received death threats. Death threats! Needless to say she was gone with a quickness. It's good to hear you aren't completely offline and I look forward to your blog posts! Much love to you Mama! And Kudos for standing up for yourself.

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  50. Well I agree that you need to protect your family first and foremost, but how do nasty post on fb hurt your son? Does he read that post etc? I think it hurts you to hear people say these nasty things about your dear child, so try to look at it that way. I am sure your son is well! Take care of yourself!

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    1. Should I have waited until he is old enough to know what people like that are saying? It doesn't take me long to learn a lesson, look ahead, and be proactive. He may not have known it this time, but I intend to make sure it doesn't happen later, when he does know.

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  51. I saw this as it was happening on the AA page, and for what its worth I do think many of those troll accounts were the same individual :( Sorry that happened to you.

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  52. Sounds so awful. Thank you for your actions, your words, and your perspectives. I hope your hurts pass as quickly as they can, and that you continue to boldly challenge the world to be more loving, kind, and connected.

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  53. Hi Amy, I am glad you will keep the blog. i am not actively contributing to your posts, but i am actively following and will continue doing so. I fully respect and support your decision. And though I still doubt about my FB account (this is another reason for that), but I am certainly never again flying AA. I want to thank you for being here for sharing with us what you believe in and what you support. Your posts helped me a lot, though unfortunately I discovered you quite late... I wish I've read all these before my son was born... we would avoid so many troubles and problems and suffering for both of us. But I also learned from you and some other pages on FB that it is never late to be a good parent, to be close to nature and to be a human being simply... Just wanted to say: Thank you!!!

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  54. Love love love you!!! No haters here I hope. Please keep writing and fighting. <3

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    1. Oh, no, there are still a few, of course... :/ But you all give me strength! Thank you!

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  55. I wish I was surprised, but definitely still aghast! In solidarity with you, sister! Thanks for stepping out there!

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  56. Oh dears.
    I know our blogs are not similar, but I am an AP parent and have been a follower from my personal. As a peer/fellow blogger, I totally get it. FB is becoming increasingly useless when it comes to protecting admins. After my recent events (an especially nasty troll was harassing me, one of his gems was that one of my kids would be better off dead than to have a whore mother like me) I am deciding to back away from my FB page a little more, and stick with where my heart is, my blog. As a fellow mom, I want to snatch you up and hug you. Share some wine and talk about how much people suck butt.
    Good luck with your book, lady!
    Love, Humble

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  57. I admire your courage as you take this stand. Do not give up, nothing worth changing in the world was won easily. The world needs people like you.
    All the best, S

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  58. I am sorry you had to put up with the nasty and vicious people on Facebook. I can't believe people would stoop so low to be so nasty especially when a baby is involved. I have had many back and forths with people on Facebook about breastfeeding. I can't believe the ignorance.
    I just wanted to tell you to keep your head up and I wish you and yours the best!

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  59. I just stumbled across this through another page. I am completely disgusted with the things that were said to you and your son. I live in Australia and while we have people who look away or even look at a bf mum in disgust I have never had any negative comments or heard of anyone else getting them.
    I can't believe a big company like aa would allow this behavior on their page.
    big hugs and support from the aussie breast feeders

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  60. It must have been just before this that I got off facebook, for at least a little while because I got sick of it and people on it. When I got on a couple days ago looking for my favorite parenting pages I couldn't find you!!! I was bummed I couldn't read all the posts from fellow Zen parents all the time, and frankly that was the only thing I was looking forward to doing again on facebook. Supper glad you've left though, it's disgusting how confident people get about putting others down when it's through the internet, and I've seen you and your page get attacked too many times. I don't want anything to do with fb anymore either. And now I have to add AA to that!! No problem, done and done. On to better things. Hopefully on Google+ the Zen community can still flourish. At least your blog still rocks.

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