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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Are You Flipping Kidding Me? (My 6th 30 Day Block)

You know you're severely sexually repressed when even the insinuation of a penis in this picture of my son (covered in Nutella) offends you enough to report it:

As a result, Facebook has blocked me for another 30 days (my 6th such block, for anyone counting). It is, however, my first block for anything on my personal page. All others were as a result of some tight-asses on my former Zen Parenting FB page. It's taken me 36 hours or so to even write about this, because by the 6th 30-dayer I'm just exhausted. Exhausted. This was one of the myriad reasons I removed ZP from Facebook. I would've removed myself completely, but I work for my mother's real estate company as her social media person and am writing What to Expect Naturally, so am needed for that. Facebook sucks and as soon as I can get out completely, I will do so and never look back.

Alas, I'm there now (well, not NOW, because of the block...the SIXTH freaking 30 day block!), so I live as I've always lived. My profile is private. I make public several posts that I don't mind sharing, but the default is to keep everything between friends. One of those "friends" decided that the mere knowledge that my son has a penis is just too much for them, thus they reported it to FB and, being the champs that they are, the FB gods took action against me...again.

In fairness, it may not have been one of my friends. Both my husband and mom were tagged in the photo (that's my non-FB-having pops in the background, so I tagged her to show him), so one of their friends could've reported it. Yes, both their profiles are private, also, so the photo wasn't out there for the masses. Objectively, it was likely one of my mom's friends who reported it, as those on her page are decidedly more conservative than those on mine and my husband's.

Regardless of who it was, though, it was a bullshit move by both the reporting party and the illustrious Facebook team.
1) It violates NO policy. We all know FB has no beef with male nipples (female nipples are a completely different story, to which a couple of my other blocks can attest). There is no genitalia showing. NO policy violation.
2) Evidently, the person who reported it is simply freaked out by knowing that there is a penis present on the body in the photograph. I got news for you sexually repressed coward, he has a penis. No matter what picture you see of him, he always has a penis. Unless he chooses to make it otherwise as an adult, he's always going to have a penis. Let's see some other pictures of him in which it is certain he has a penis, even though you cannot see it, shall we? If you're offended easily, you may want to shield your eyes.

                                                         There's a penis in that diaper!

                                     Look at him all not caring about the fact that he has a penis -
                                             just DARING you to report his penis-having self.

                                               Attack of the naked baby photo!  The horror!
                   There's a penis down there (you know, where you aren't able to see).  Noooooooo!!!

                                                         *gasp* *shudder* *REPORT!*
         Two penises (not featured in the photo, but they're there...lurking...being all penisy and such) together
                                      AND male on male kissing.  That's it, we're all going to hell.

                                    PENIS!  You know it's there, just taunting you, offending you,
                                   insinuating that we should all be unashamed of our bodies.  Pfft...

                             Naked child with his penis out and free and there's photographic proof!
              Well, not really, since you can't SEE the offending organ, but it's there damn it...it's there...

I'll tell you what, dear reporter, next time you see a picture of ANYone, you should notify Facebook immediately.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, because they're in there...in every one of those pictures, there's some kind of genitalia lurking just around the corner and we simply cannot have that!

Or, you know, you could grow up, get some therapy, and get stay the hell away from my family and me.  Ya, ya, that's the one...I choose that one.


  1. people are insane. no one in europe or asia would think twice about completely naked babies in happy little family pictures. color me astonished.

  2. haha. Laughing at your blog. All the "penis" references. :) But just shaking my head at the dummies. We are surrounded by dummies. I just can't imagine living like the person that would find that photo offensive.

    1. I had to try to amuse myself while writing otherwise I would've just punched the screen on which I was imagining the reporter's face.

  3. What the eff?! There is nothing to report! This sucks.

    1. The rape apologists on the What to Expect Naturally FB page believe otherwise. You should check it out...

  4. I'm so no happy that I have to do 30 days without you!!! Aaaargh. Yeah. Move to Europe, rude people, you'd got into shock over all babies with genitalia. Stomps off angrily. :(

    1. Not happy myself. I'll miss you! I swear if my son weren't so attached to my parents and I weren't so attached to my oldest nephew, we'd be off to my favorite town in France in a heartbeat! Oh, and you should SEE the rape culture blindness over on the What to Expect Naturally page where I posted this link. It's ugly.