Words matter. If you call me stupid, but you mean something I do with which you don't agree is stupid, I'm going to hear what you say, not what you mean. Then I'm going to feel hurt. And then I'm going to wonder why in the world you're friends with me if I'm so stupid. Is stupidity not a deal-breaker for you as it is with me? What is your criteria for friendship? What is it about me that overrides my stupidity for you?