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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

The IVF Process for Women vs. Men

I got to remembering last night. This is never good for my sleep. It usually turns out pretty good for the blog, though, so...

Just one cycle of IVF for a woman:
- blood tests once or twice a week, which, if you're like me, mean sticks at least 8 times a week, because they simply wouldn't listen when I told them my veins sucked
- months of invasive, painful tests and procedures
- more pills than anyone should ever take in a lifetime, let alone in a period of months, making your hormones throw you into a state of near-insanity
- injections...so many injections every single day for weeks on end
- the pressure of all this happening to and in YOUR body, so all the responsibility lands on you

I have never felt crazier in my life than I did when I was going through IVF. Clearly, because of our son who came of it, I'm thrilled we did it, but if it hadn't worked that first time (and there's only a 20% chance that it will!), I don't think I could've handled doing it again. I gained 50 pounds in the process, became someone I didn't recognize and couldn't control, and was just an overall miserable wreck.

IVF for a man:
- one blood test
- one semen test
- one semen collection for conception (more collections if more cycles of IVF are necessary...boo hoo)

That's right, a man's only contribution, only "sacrifice" in the process is an orgasm. They get to orgasm...twice...and then tell everyone about the horrors of IVF, of putting up with their out-of-control partner, of "their" journey and pregnancy with their partner. Poor guys.

Next time you run across someone who is going through IVF, tell the man to shut up immediately. Offer no opinions or advice to the woman. Just know that you can't possibly know any of what they're going through. Add to that the $20K price tag for one shot in the dark and you have one hellacious life experience, so please, just shhhh....

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